When I returned to work after maternity leave, I was relieved my mother-in-law offered to watch our baby. But that relief turned to shock when she asked to be paid for spending time with her grandchild. I didn’t know how to respond—was this normal? Was I being unfair expecting her to help without compensation? The request felt transactional, and I couldn’t shake the discomfort.
She had recently retired, and I began to wonder if financial anxiety was behind her request. Still, I struggled with the idea of monetizing something so intimate. I wanted her to be involved out of love, not obligation. My husband was caught in the middle, unsure how to mediate without causing tension.
Eventually, I sat down with her for an honest conversation. I shared how her request made me feel—not accusing, just expressing. She admitted she was worried about her savings and didn’t mean to hurt me. We agreed on a small stipend, more symbolic than substantial, and it eased the strain between us.
I’ve learned that caregiving—even from family—can carry emotional and financial weight. While most grandparents don’t expect payment, some do, and it’s okay to talk about it. What matters most is preserving trust and love in the process.
