I really need some outside perspective because I’m currently stuck in the middle of a conflict that’s tearing my social circle apart. I’m a hiring manager, and recently a friend of mine, Gregor, applied for an open role on my team. Honestly, I wanted him to get a fair shot—no favoritism, just a clean professional process.
HR screened his résumé, and that’s when everything went sideways. I saw no degree, inflated experience, and dates that straight-up didn’t add up. I had to be professional and tell him we couldn’t move forward with his application. Man, he cornered me in the hallway, panicked, practically begging me to “figure it out” somehow with HR. I stayed firm, and he snapped, calling me a fake friend. I was stunned.
The next morning, we both went to the HR office, and before I could even speak, he dropped the real reason he was so desperate: his uncle, Darren, helped him “fix up” that résumé. According to Gregor, Darren told him that exaggerating experience was normal and claiming a degree was “just how you get your foot in the door.” He wasn’t making up lies on his own; he was just following a manipulative family member’s terrible advice.
But anyway, a lie is still a lie. He told everyone I didn’t help him get a job, and now everyone is on my back. They’re telling me that hiring him wouldn’t have hurt anyone and that I humiliated him. I can’t stop asking myself: was I holding him accountable for his actions… or was I punishing him for trusting the wrong person? What would you do if you were in my shoes?
I know I need to separate the person from the action. Gregor messed up, but he isn’t a villain. I have to keep the lines clear: “I can’t hire you” isn’t the same as “I don’t love you.” I’m trying to speak my truth calmly, but it’s hard when I’m being dragged into emotional attacks. I’m running a team, not a charity, and if I start hiring people just to avoid social tension, I’ll regret it later. I’m trying to keep my professional decisions professional, even if my heart wants to play the peacemaker. With enough patience and clear boundaries, I hope I can navigate this while preserving my integrity.
