I smiled, but I didn’t feel well that night. We had a video call once; she was still beautiful, but her eyes were different, always in a hurry, always distant. I asked her why she didn’t come over. She was silent before
replying that she was very busy with work, Mom.
I didn’t ask any more questions. Sometimes, a mother becomes cowardly because she’s afraid to hear the truth.
As time went on, I grew up, and I got bigger. My house improved thanks to the money he sent. Everyone says I’m lucky. But how can you be happy if you eat alone? Every Christmas, I still set a plate and spoon for him. For years I’ve been cooking his favorite stew, watching the steaming broth with tears welling in my eyes.
Twelve years is a long time. Finally, I decided to do something I’d never considered: go to Korea to visit him. I didn’t tell him. For a 63-year-old woman who had never been on a plane or even left the country, it was a huge decision.
I asked my neighbor for help with the fines and paperwork. There were just over four hours left, and my hands were practically white from gripping the seat. When I arrived at the airport, I was overwhelmed by the number of people and the language I didn’t understand. I took a taxi to the address my son had given me.
A two-story house in a quiet area. I rang the doorbell and no one answered. The door wasn’t locked, so I pushed it open and went in. The garden was nice but cold, with no human noise, no sound of a television.
I approached the front door, my hand trembling as I grasped the doorknob. I took a deep breath and slammed the door shut. At that moment, I was stunned.
The room was spacious, clean as if it were almost lifeless. Everything was in order, like a model home, but there was no trace of a man. There were no slippers scattered about, no jackets hanging around, no smell of food or tea—normal things in a house.
I called
Mary
, but she didn’t answer. The flower on the table was fake, cold, perched on its handle. I went inside. The kitchen was spotless, not a trace of grease, the refrigerator was almost empty, and there were a few spilled water bottles and pieces of fruit.
I went up to the second floor. There are three doors. The first bedroom only had one bed; the blankets were neatly arranged, there was no sign of two people sleeping there. The living room was full of women’s clothing, not a single men’s garment. My heart began to tremble.
The second bedroom was like an office, tidy but not in constant use. There wasn’t a single photo, not a single object that belonged to Kang Jun. It was as if he had never existed.
I opened the last room and my knees buckled. It was filled with stacks of boxes. Some were open, and inside were bundles of cash tied to the floor. I nodded, my hand trembling. I know he sends 8 million pesos every year. If there’s so much money here, where does it come from? Why is it hidden away in a locked room like a warehouse?
At that moment, I heard a door open downstairs. Weak footsteps. I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. And then, someone called
Ma
Maria Luisa’s voice, but lower, very low, tired. I ran down the stairs. She was standing at the bottom, looking at me. We hadn’t seen each other in twelve years; she was still beautiful but thin, with deep eyes and a heavy air.
We looked at each other for a few seconds. She came closer and gave me a tight hug, not crying, just silent. I’m trembling
: Is this what your life is like?
She walks away, looks directly at me.
Ma’am, you shouldn’t be here.
Bakit
She smiled slightly, but didn’t
look at me.
I took
his hand. Where’s your wife? Why isn’t she using it here? Why is there so much money upstairs?
She was silent for a long time before
speaking: Mom, I’m not married
It feels like my world has stopped
. What are you saying?
I never had a wife
Every word
feels like a punch. Twelve years ago I lied to you.
He
nodded: The money I send each year doesn’t come from my husband. It cost me a lot.
How do you make so much money?
He smiled bitterly
in exchange for time and a part of my life
She went to school slowly. Twelve years ago, because of poverty, my accident, and debts, she went to Korea to work as an interpreter and was personally involved with a rich man named Kang Jun. Honestly, sometimes I had to be the perfect woman for him.
I’m not his wife, but I’m not a simple person either. I need to smile when I need to, and be quiet when I need to.
I feel like
my heart is being squeezed. Do you know how much it hurts?
He
nodded, I know. But if I didn’t go, where will we get the money for your treatment? How will we pay off the debt? I have no other choice.
I cried
, but not like this.
